Currently Residing.

And to think I thought admitting I had these problems would've been the first step to recovery. I must've forgotten the second step was a step backwards. I was hoping by now that I would be making progress at moving towards the right direction. But maybe I'm not destined to hit that right direction. I mean, I am enjoying life for the most part. I hate being alone always. Its one of my biggest fears, is always being alone. But i am coping (in the wrong ways) but coping. I picked up the nasty habit of smoking for about 6 days last week. I only smoked one cigar a day, but still. My old excuse was I only smoked when I drank, and now I found myself smoking a cigar to stay awake. What gives? I used to be an adamant "anti-smoker" growing up in a household full of smoke. I hated it. I wanted out so extremely bad. So here I am, now out of that house and smoking on my own by myself. The decisions I make I tell ya.